Since I was a teenager I have had massive difficulties sleeping for too little or too long. I feel tired all the time. Last night I went to my sleep study (six months late cuz covid), and they used the CPAP and holy fuck. I feel amazing. I can’t wait to see my doctor and buy my machine. I can’t wait to sleep in the same bed as my husband because my gasping and snoring won’t keep him awake. I’m feel so many emotions. Hope that I will be able to become a functioning member of society. But also anger. Anger at my parents for denying my problems past my youth, pushing me to put it off for so long. My parents were doctors, so I couldn’t argue. “Oh you don’t have sleep apnea, you’re not overweight!” “Well, if you have it what are you going to do.. sleep with a machine your whole life? That will be really attractive to a man!”
These mixed emotions are making my mind buzz. But mostly, I am just excited. I just wanted to tell someone.