I don’t fully understand the ratings, but my OSA was at a 28 rating. I’m guessing that is how often I stopped breathing in an hour. My doctor did not do a great job explaining. In fact, I only heard from a nurse over the phone when they called to tell me I had OSA (after having done the home sleep study). I would have asked more questions, but I was in a state of shock regarding the diagnosis.
Anyway, here I am, a few hours away from my first night with my full mask CPAP, and I’m nervous. At the office today, when I got my machine, I felt like I was too focused on my breathing. I could hear my breathing, so I was nervously aware of how fast I was breathing or how heavily or light I was breathing. It was very disconcerting.
I’m afraid about going to bed tonight because I don’t want to lay there thinking about it all night. I also just want a restful night’s sleep, which has been so difficult the past couple of years.
I just feel trapped. I don’t know how to do this. But I don’t want to continue stopping breathing in the night. I just want to cry. I never dreamed this would be me.
And I can’t talk to my family about any of this. They just don’t understand what I’m going through.
I hate this.